i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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