I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
