he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
