you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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