Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
