Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize