i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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