wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
