You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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