If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize