ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
