Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
