I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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