It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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