when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
