it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
