I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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