Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
