by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
