I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
