All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
