i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
