We won't sleep together?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
