u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
