Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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