You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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