My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
