Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
