Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize