so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
