I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
