worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
