We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I believe in your delicious
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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