dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
