i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
