I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize