I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
