He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
