"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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