We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
