That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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