i just google imaged poop.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
