There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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