I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
