I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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