super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
