How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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