dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
