you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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