what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
