ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
