I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He better not be in your backpack
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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