So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
