David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
