i barfeds in our rink
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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