Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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