on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
