You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
