it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
