Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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