the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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