i think my mom watched the whole time
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
