yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize