i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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