Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
