and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
