Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think your dad took our porno
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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