I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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