he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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