It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
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He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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