I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
