It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
