in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
