I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
