carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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