drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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